LGBTQ

Tell me what am I supposed to do when I hear a person call it the "Faggot and Dykes parade"....

Honestly I have a lot of respect for the LGBTQ community. Yes I am with a guy right now, but I will not label myself as "straight". I am ME. I don't believe Love has an age or gender, it only got eyes for the soul. (I don't know man, just go with it. It sounds nice!).

Let me tell you, the LGBTQ community has worked HARD for themselves. Its a revolution guys. They have fought long and hard just to be with someone they love. Honestly I believe the world has no right to judge anyone else but themselves, one is one-self's own enemy right?

Let me start off my talking about my own history. Since I was small I have only been exposed to guy-girl relationships. As a kid in China, I've always had a boy's haircut. I was girly, but it was a school policy to have short hair (yeah, I know, LAME!), and because of this a lot of the girls didn't like to play with me (They had better short hairstyles than me, I was the only one that looked like a guy ;( wah wah wah). So eventually I hung out with mainly guys, and I've had crushes on guys as long as I could remember ;) player status! As I moved my way into elementary in the U.S I began to have girl "best friends". Honestly I have never had bestfriends before and the thought of being so close with someone scares me, especially girls. I've just never been to that level with another girl and something always scared me, the thought that maybe I liked them just because they were that close to me. This was a scary feeling to go through especially because I was so young and didn't know what to think, because in my head I've always thought that you're SUPPOSED to be with a guy.
In middle school I remembered that I couldn't hook arms with another girl because there was a phase where "if you do this if you do that then EWHH YOU ARE A LESBIAN!".... Yeah that didn't help at all. I was sooo conscious with my every move just because I didn't want to be called a lesbian. I WAS NORMAL!
You know whats funny though? After awhile that phase left and it was a "cool" thing to hold hands with your girlfriends and hang out all the time. Shit the media even started provoking girl-on-girl kissing because it was a "sexy thing" to do right? According to the media, acting lesbian or bi made things interesting. The media made us teenagers thought that guys are attracted to "girl-on-girl" action.
As I moved away from San Francisco, I experienced more LGBTQ couples. It's funny how I've never seen any LGBTQ couples at school before till I got OUTSIDE of the "home of the gays". Oh and by this time I was way more closer with girls and well it just wasn't a thing to worry about "if I was gay or not". Because haye, if I was, guys are attracted to that right? Hah and for some reason not until I was out of San Francisco did I gain more respect and more knowledge of LGBTQ and all their history in San Francisco.
Once I moved back to San Francisco, I began to grow and told myself to stop fussing. It doesn't matter what I am, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, OR Questioning, I am who I am, why do I have to stress over it? It doesn't change who I am or what I do or how I act from the way I do now.
Now, after sessions and meetings and all of my LGBTQ friends, I have gained a whole lot of respect and even admiration for the LGBTQ community. One of the biggest event I've done was to be part of a play at school about LGBTQ and the issue the army has against them. I guess the most striking thing about it is that we dealed with some real issues, some real conversations and hatred toward the LGBTQ, and that our teacher, advisor, and director all in one was a LGBTQ member herself. And oh boy she is one of my most respected adults of all times. Through all my experience I learned that the LGBTQ members go through a whole lot. Its not something sexy, as the media shows it. Its not something that everyone accepts. Its something real, something tough and strong, something that went through hell just to be able to have a dam life.

I don't see much difference between this and racism, or any other kind of prejudice. I am a Christian myself and I know it goes against all Christian believes, but is it? Because aren't WE going against all of God's words as we speak? Does "Love thy neighbor" ring a bell? oh and I can also think of a few more, "Do not use God's name in vain", and branching off from that I also have "Do not lie". I may not be a huge bible expert, but I was taught that God loves everyone, but he hates our sins. He loves us, but he hates what we do, and throughout my past years I have learned that those two are actually very different things. Also, I've also learned that sinning is sinning no matter how big or small. We can lie, another can steal, and even worse they can murder, but all of these are considered sins equally. We are all sinners by nature, so don't just hate a certain group of us, hate all of us. But again that brings us back to "Love thy neighbor".

Okay thats all just my basic knowledge of the bible, other experts may have many more points to cross mines. But bottom line, who are we to judge? Like they said, when you point at someone, three fingers are pointing back at you.

SMELLS LIKE FART IN MY ROOM!

someone's got mad gas!


I love to travel too! hehe.
Went to the oh-so-famous lombard street today, finally! Took the cable cars, went to the wharf, ate clam chowder in a bread bowl, and laid on the grass, felt the water at yerba beuna again, and even the beach water ;) and the silky sand slipping through my toesies! Good day (: and great weather!

I honestly don't know why I never seen this before, but I honestly really love San Francisco and I am very lucky to be living here, instead of spending thousands just to vacation here for a few days. San Francisco has soo much to offer, but I've just never realized it! Living in San Francisco for half of all my years, its a pity to say I still haven't been to much of the city. Yeah its a small city, but it offers so much, so much that I've never taken advantage of! I want to go Alcatraz again, Angel island... I want to take the ferry! I want to go to the mountains and look over the beautiful San Francisco. I want to see the city lights and take it all in as an embrace. I want to see the underground art and history. I want to feel the glamor and the bittersweet. I want to do everything in San Francisco before I leave this place :( Before I regret everything. But honestly, I don't even know if I can leave anymore.... I feel like I have written too much about how much I love to travel and how much I don't want to leave this place from all the previous posts and whatnot, but I guess its just something thats been on my mind lately. Hah maybe this is passion.

Love doesn't have age, color, OR GENDER

I WANT TO GO TO THE PRIDE PARADE! I've lived in SF most of my life, come on, I just HAVE to ;(

Generation Gap (Just a small 8 years.....)

Today was Marcelo's 5th birthday, and my sister's and I were invited. The night before the kids prepared a bag of presents for this boy that they barely even knew. This bag of presents included: A writing of the word "President" on it and some drawing, which was probably influenced by my dad because he just took the citizenship test yesterday and he has been studying in front of the kids for the past week. More drawings of birthday cakes and of course the words of "Happy Birthday Marcelo" on it. A turkey card from Thanksgiving that the kids made from school. A coloring page ripped out of a coloring book. Pages with stickers stuck on them. And last but not least, a paper towel ROLL with stickers on it (just the roll guys, not the paper :/ ).
Okay, first thing that came to my mind was that "this is .... trash." and I was really embarrassed about that paper roll! What was it anyway...? ITS SOMETHING THAT BELONGS IN THE TRASH! And the word "President"? How is that relevant? I wanted to tell my sister, Hannah, to throw it away because I really didn't want to see the birthday boys expression when he finds this bag of presents among the other boxes of trucks and iron man and nerf guns and whatnot. I was embarrassed.... But I didn't want to ruin my sisters' childhood (cause honestly I blame myself for them being so crappy at times :/ ) and decided to let her have her way. This is where art starts right? Like the book "The Little Prince" I don't want to be the reason why my sister is kidnapped from her creativity...
Skipping forward. THE KID LOVED THE PRESENTS! Honestly I believe he liked it more than all those cards he got with the 20 dollar bills stuck inside them. He saw the toilet paper roll as... DUN DUN DUN. A TELESCOPE! He said "Cool! I can use this to play pirate!" (which was what my sister said!).
Oh kids. Conclusion? I don't have the imagination you guys have anymore. Right now I blame my parents for the generation gap that we have, but honestly generation gaps are really hard to close! I am only 8 years older than my sister, and yet I can't even think the way they do anymore. I can't see a piece of paper as a treasure, nor do I see a telescope from a paper roll.

ADULTS, WE SUCK :(

possible solution? SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOUR KIDS!
(hah jaykay I don't know Im only a sister I don't have kids :( so dont listen to me_)

You know what I need to do? My driver's ed ;(

Okay look, I don't know if I know what love is. Nor do I know if I would be with him forever. But right now everything just feels so right even when it started off so wrong. And the fact that I would have to leave him in a year kills me. Who knew we would have lasted this long though? Even I am surprised.

ThAI FOOD!

was so good. I should have taken a picture so this post would have been more interesting. This was my first time at a thai restaurant :D But I think second time eating Thai food. I was exploring the city today! Wondered around Mission, I felt like such a tourist. I was having fun and admiring every junk store I past by. I LOVE RESTAURANTS! Like... seriously (:
So I have this big dream that I would open a cafe when I get older. Cafes are fun, I feel like they are a place to create, to relax, and to just chill and spend time yeah? I don't know. I also found out I like architecture(: I mean I always seem to find myself admiring the city and its buildings and stuff.... I am such a tourist :( and I been living here for years ;( not cool.

I feel like I been over and over again at the same few places; Same restaurants, same parks, same shops, same malls. TIME TO EXPERIENCE THE WORLD! Heh I guess I've grown up now huh? I know I may not be able to travel outside yet, but there are still so much to see in San Francisco! Yeah its a small place, but thats only because I've only seen so little, I don't know about the other side of San Francisco -wink wink-. This is supposed to be one of the most interesting places, and I get to experience it all first hand. I want to explore San Francisco from head to toe before I move out of here!!!

Hah. How I get from thai food, to cafe, to architecture, to exploring san francisco? Oh I love me ;3

I MADE FUNNEL CAKE TODAY! I am still on level 1 ;( I need to master this! ARGH! It looks like a big fried bread. hehehe.

my family's a Joke.

God knows we have so much problems within this family, oh believe me, GOD KNOWS. So what's the point of acting like such a clown in front of our pastor and his wife? This doesn't make any sense to me. Mom, Dad, seriously... No point of acting all nice and polite to the rest of the family when you know just 20 minutes ago we were screaming our heads off to each other. Stop pretending we are the perfect family. Theres a line between being polite, and being a clown. Why are you guys trying to pull off that perfection act? When oh hell, there is so much problems within this family.


Do NOT disrespect me, or ANY of my friends, lover, or even other families. You have NO RIGHT. THIS is the real shithole right here.



Family first? Right now, thats not for me. You guys may have gave birth to me, fed me, and given me a home. But the emotional damage you've done to me all these years... I cannot forget. You guys are MY FAMILY, you guys DO mean a whole lot to me, and thats why it hurts extra much.

the window in my room makes me happy (:

windows, in general, makes me happy.


No... Not just because I get to spy on my neighbors every once in awhile ;) but I love the fresh air and the sun light. I hate being "a kind of the 21st-century", where we are so tech-hyped and we do not appreciate nature as much as we used to. Many peoples sit in front of their computer all day without seeing the sun at all -nudge nudge-. I don't like that. I want to appreciate the sun and the breeze and nature itself as much as I can (: no I am not a nature-freak. Its a human thing that we should all have. Technology is not everything! Honestly I find sitting outdoors on the grass way more relaxing than sitting in front of a computer playing maplestory all day, don't you? Yes yes, I am guilty as charged.

Another thing that makes me so sad is to think that people in the 21st century don't use their own living room anymore. For most peoples it is just a place of decoration.... Sorry if I've mistaken and this is not you, but I am not saying EVERYone. But there are just some people that stay in stay in their room all day and never really spend time in the living room with the rest of the family. Again, I am guilty as charged. I am always either out or whenever I am home I stay inside my bedroom. Sometimes I think that technology has a lot of blame for this.... But I may just be critical. But hey, what else would you do in your room without your computer, radio, ipod, tv, and other game consoles? See, when I am out I realize that most houses I see on the street never have their lights on. Hah ohkay you COULD be just saving energy, but not every one of you. It's not you're not home, its just for most of the houses the living room is the first room you see in a house, the one that is usually facing the street, and you and/or your family never uses that room anymore. Living room is a place where the family supposed to be other than when they are sleeping or using the bathroom or eating or cooking. Honestly thats the place where you should be spending all your time. Sometimes in America the Living room is also called the Family room. What happened to family time? I don't know, bottom line, it bothers me whenever I go down the street and the living room lights aren't on. Everyone's probably hiding in their room, having a relationship with their technology or other "items" instead of their family.


Oh BUTT I love windows in general. In my future house I want to have nice big windows, nice view and cute blinds with a city space in front of the window. I like to read under the natural light too. And natural light makes me feel so ALIFE>:D

sorry I get off topic a lot :/ My mind jumps from place to place that sometimes others can't follow at my pace... I think I may have ADHD or ADD or something? or is that the same thing?

Dumb curse

I haven't been able to sleep past 9 ever since school was out.... TILL TODAY! ohyeah >;D I was worried too. I was wondering if I was already getting old and getting sleeping problems, or if I was overstressed. :(

LALALA.

Hi, Been awhile(:

Life is so limited and so... broad. (: hah it IS full of endless possibilities, you just really have to go and work for them.
I don't want to take life for granted. I want to live life to its fullest. I want to enjoy my days and things that interests me.
Lately I've been really motivated to go and explore the city! Probably its because of the fact that its summer, and that I felt like I've already done everything I see, so its time to explore the unseen!! >;D
First spot? I want to hit up some late night art galleries! Art events! I am sooo into these kind of things. Film festivals, dance festivals, they are all hidden within this city and honestly the residents within this city barely notices them! San Francisco is supposed to be this one big mixing pot, where all kinds of art, culture, style, and people come together. This is one of the IT cities in American that really makes people go "WOW". Yeah yeah we've heard about the Golden Gate Bridge, the number one tourist attraction. But there are so much more juicier stuff that's happening all around us! I want to go to every museum, big and small, and learn about their story. I want to go to the hidden poetry slams. The dance festivals. The night gatherings. World, I AM SO READY FOR YOU!
Cept I just wish I had some company :( seems like no one understands my interests. I can find so much meaning in just a small movement! A small scene in a film. A small decoration among the emptiness ;) wink wink. Hah cept.... It's hard to find someone that really understands you, you know?
Boyfriend? I don't expect him to fit me perfectly, hah and sometimes I think maybe thats why we work.