FYC family

is love (:

Jerk

why do i keep hurt you unintentionally-on-purpose? ;x




.....


wow -.-' fml.

I can cry just seeing your name

dammit. it all comes back to you.


uggh what am i tryna do?
-.-'



I need this spring break... NOW.

PIMPLES!

ouch.

Part2

Ohkay its not just jealous.


Cuhs now I have you...
but do I really want you? -.-'


BS.
This is all bs ;x
I am bs.
Sigh JERK.


I realized that many peoples turn into players once they get their heart broken... Cuhs then they would go around looking for fast love but then never putting their heart into it. && so it becomes a chain effect.... More & more playing hearts are created &. (since the player will break others' hearts... Causing them to turn into players themselves)



Yeah I wonder why I am like this? Nah... Id say every teenage girl is like this as an excuse.... Before I blamed on the ex, but I think that is just too cruel. Its not even his fault, I swear, haha. I reckon that it even have anything to do with him.

Oh hes such a mystery to you huh?
haha.
noway (:

You have the solution to my flaws(:

hehehe.


uhoh. Yes in the beginning things are fun, and then theres always a point when I start getting jealous &
I halt, stop, and rip myself away.
Uhoh....

Secrets

kill hearts. trust. love. truth. false.
fuck secrets.
stop passing it on.
its like a curse.
now they have to keep it.
have the tempt to not tell no one.
have to pretend they dont kno anything.
havnt you heard.
sometimes, 
its better to kno less than to kno more,
especially when it aint 100 true.
&& without content, without permission.




ohkay so i cant complain how pplz come to me for stuff. I love that, but gawdam. I really dont want to kno secrets when others told you not to tell. it shows me you cant be trusted. it makes me go "well she/he can do the same for me...." and spill my secrets. uhuh. Not cute. way turn off. 


so yes yes lately. since we are on the friends subject, i feel like an ass. Been feeling selfish and expecting a lot and been complaining and comparing a lot. Fuck, where my manners go!? LOL. No fuck it though I am not gonn take it all my fault. I aint gonn lie, I have been drifting apart from everyone cuhs of my tight schedule. I am sorry! But MF stop complaining and come along and help me deal widd it? Ohkay fine you dont have to, but see I am being an ass and expecting peoples to. No you dont have to. But shit, stop complaining! I SHOULD BE THE ONE COMPLAINING. I am the one having to deal with all this crap, not you. I am the one running back and forth from place to place and trying to fit too much into my schedule. Yes yes I am the one who did this to myself. are you really gonn go and tell me shit like that? COME ON. I really just want some support instead of fucking complains. I've got enough, stop making it worse. Really. I dont need your bullshit too.
I do already feel bad. stop shuffing it in my face. I know I am drifting away and I know I have no time for anyone anymore ;x.... then I go and expect too much by suggesting and expecting you guys to come see me at practice. bs.. i know. Spoiled bitch.
buh I helluh wish you guys would make an effort. at least support? -.-' gawdam if thats the least you could do, id be so happy.

Oh GG Wenxi....

its almost a year since I last did...... and today I couldnt resist. Fuck. I am very disapointed in myself.... and this time theres no excuses. I cant blame anyone or anything.


I am ashamed of myself when this happen.... EVERY SINGLE MUTHERFUCKING TIME.




......
&& i kept it up for so long,,,,
wow.







&& I KEEP GETTIN ANNONYMOUS COMMENTS ON A "DIARY POST " I DID A FEW MONTHS AGO. THE HELL??? ........

Thanks to Amy Wong for introducing me to GMH. I cried tonight.

In the hospital, I passed Cynthia's room, a baby girl with cancer.

Due to her family living far away and having no car, she's spent most of the past year getting treatment alone in the hospital. Tonight, I passed her room and her dad lay in her bed rocking her to sleep. He walked across town just to kiss her goodnight.

A fathers love GMH





&& just today I thought it was really funny how I want to be a therapist but I can't even find peace in my family... All the family problems here and there. How we are falling apart into pieces & it just gets worse and worse every day.....

Another Guy Sober Moment

so much for that. man....
i need to set BOLD RULES for this type of thing -.-'
BOLD RULES I SAY! ;O

I am on a new mission

I will push you away.



I will.

Everything Happens For A Reason

I have to remind myself that ;x all the time

I Adore You

&& I am very thankful for you (:



I love that feeling when I can put down my shield and come clean, when I can care less about my pride and admit you were truely something special.
(:

I have that... thing. Where I just can't put down my pride & whole-heartedly like someone. But I am working toward it... its hard. To admit they were really something to ya.

Ahhh..

I remember exactly how you made me feel, I think...
What a fail ;x
but right now you are getting back into my life.
Funny because I think HE sends off the same kind of vibe as you. Haha.

No of course not, you were not my love. No way way (: no way jose. But you were a special person in my life, that changed the way I look at things. && no lie, I miss you like crazy. But now its the bestfriend kind of miss, no more crushie, no more lover. (:


So I heard I will be going L.A this spring break! WHEEEEE;
I hope I can make it to AZ(:

&& no doubt

I am so proud of you amy (:
Hehe I guess I can say same here. Its a different kind of feeling, a different kind of caring. (:
GG(: YOUR A BIG GIRL NOW!

Sometimes I Wonder......

If I said yes, that I will, what will happen? Would we be together right now?


I may be regretting right now... But I guess I know my commitment limits.
-.-'

You know how I mentioned that I take relationships seriously?

yeah, that is so funny considering how I am dealing with things now dont you think?
Such an asshole.


Sigh... WHEN IS THE NEXT GUY SOBER?!

You Make Me Smile Right Now

& thats all that matters.



Right?