The next thing

Theres always two ways to things, a good, and a bad. Simple as that.

Ima try to look at everyones good side (:

Ahh... Sorry.

Sorry there always seem to be trouble with us. Sorry that I can't love you back the same way you seem to love me. I am slowly trying... & hun love is a biggg word. Lets be patient with each other, yes? Cause every.... Every single time. It gets deeper. Every single time. It hurts a little more. & that means, every single time, its another step closer.

Am I over-reacting? Am I doing too much.... >.>'

To Be Honest

I am disappointed to the max. I Loved you, and I know how big of a word that is... But I did. I looked up to you, you never gave up. You always saw the best in everyone. No... Im lying. You didn't, but you tried. & you didn't hide that and the fact you try to make yourself better inspired me. The fact that you wouldn't care about what others think of you, but only of what you thought of yourself, that made me crazy for you. Girl, you used to notice all your own flaws and try to do whats good. You always seemed to look deeper in things and tried to better yourself. I see you have given up on that, and that ... makes me sad. You inspired me, homegirl. You made me feel like there is good peoples left on this Earth. & hun I can't think about living without you cause you make my day that much better. You can make me laugh, we can do the craziest things together, we were partners in crimes, haha we had the weirdest ideas and the fact you loved the smallest things, like grass, was too cute. I loved everything about you, and I am sorry if you felt like you've been taken advantage of by anyone, by anything, by me... If you felt that way.
I miss you, I do.
I really hate this situation, where you are hating UNITED. I have nothing to say about that... Cause that is my heart, that is my baby, we created this team from scratch along with everyone and the fact you have to be bs about it along with everyone else hurts me. I thought you loved that team too... But now you just straight up did a 360 turn. I guess I never saw how much UNITED hurted you... Yeah you could leave it, I won't force you to stay or tie you down in any way, but is it too much to ask for you to not diss it? I know, everyone else is, but why you?
I miss the way we used to chill and hang and I miss how you'd snap me & amy back to reality if we were too caught up on guys or drama or whatever. You always tried to do things for others benefits and mann.... Heh. It takes a lot. I don't know what happened seriously, but I guess that was all just a phase. No one knows yourself better than you, but hun don't give up and "fuck the world". I miss you, and if this is you, the one who wants to hate everyone and diss everything and just want to be a bitch about it. I guess I am fine with that... I just really missed the one who would know her wrongs and try to fix it... You once inspired me. If anyone was ever "not fake", it'd be you. If anyone was worth living for, itd be you. If anyone made the world seem like a better place, itd be you. You know how few there is left, the ones that make the world seem like a better place... & I don't want to loose another one.

Don't give up. I know you may be tired of everything. Tired of the bs of the world.... But hun, one person can make a big difference, and your my one person.

>.>'

I haven't been the best lately.... But your not really giving me that choice either. Hun its a two-way relationship.

Ahh.... I miss modern ;x

Should I reapply for YAAW? I still haven't had the time to fill out the application or anything yet... but..... Ill see. Its due by the end of this week. Do I really have the time for it? ;x

Slowly. I will work my way back to how I used to be

Lets start off with
"See everything as a blessing, everything happens for a reason, there is always a better ending. If its not good? It hasn't ended yet"

I'm trying.... trying but.

I don't know if what I am doing is right or not. I don't know and I don't want to care, I want to be carefree... >.>'


carefree.. >.>

Ahh... Life is stressful.

LIFE IS HARD! i need to pick myself up soon and get back on track. I swear stacking all these problems up will do no help. They may hide the problem, or even over power previous problems just because this new problem might be worse than the old ones, but then the old ones will float back to the surface soon or later and you will have to deal with that cluster all together again. & plus, stacking up problems is like stacking up sticks. You want to keep things in a pile, you don't want it spreading even more.. But the more you stack, the more you will get confused on what you should fix first. its like pick up sticks, pick up the wrong one and the pile shatters. AHHHHH!!!



LIFE IS HARD.
my analogies are awesome. DUH.

I was wrong, he was with it all along. I just... Wenxi your an ass sometimes :(

I hate how I can get so insecure sometimes. I just need a little too much reassurance, and I know that will get annoying soon. Times like this I keep thinking I don't deserve him....

I hate misunderstandings. Make me do stupid things apparently. Ahhh....

YOUR SO BIPOLAR! MAKE UP YOUR MIND!!! ARG!

Miss you like crazy :(

I hated that day. I really hated it. Disgusted me from the bottom of my heart. Ugh. Thats all I needed to say goodbye.

So SAY GOODBYE!

Eskimo

Nice and Simple.
This time, let things go nice and simple, because I don't want the extra drama, the extra opinion. I want this to be just me and you, no one else to interfere with our heads. Just me & you.

:( the guilt.... WAHH.

grr whyd you have to fall asleep, now I want you so bad. HMMPH

Its been awhile

I have not being able to spill my heart out here anymore... I liked it when I used to just write anything and everything on here... Those, were the days hun. Ah. T.T

I hate how I've lost myself.