Your Love don't mean shit to me if you could "love" so easily.

Doin' my own(:

Story of My Life

In too deep, can't think about giving it up
But I never knew love would feel like a heart attack
It's killing me, swear I never cried so much
Cause I never knew love would hurt this f*ck*n' bad
The worst pain that I ever had

Outta times when I know I should be smiling
Seems to be the time that I frown the most
Can't believe that we still suffering
Cause i'm slowly breaking down
Even when I hold you close

And it hurts,
Cause I wanna leave, and you wanna leave
But the loves keeps us together

And if I lose you
I'm afraid I would lose who
I gave my love to
That's the reason I stay around
Even though I fell in too deep

Blame a Girl for Being in Love..

I was too caught up with the bad to remember the good. I was too caught up with not having the present, to enjoy the present. But now the present is in the past. Now I'm fucked up.

Dam.

you talking like you know me. But you DONT. You don't know how hard I work for my own shit and pay for everything I have. You don't know how I have to take care of 3 little ones everyday and still manage to deal with school, friends, family, and work. On top of that I have to take care of my parents when it comes to filling out papers and forms, stuff that normal teenagers my age probably don't have to deal with. I've learned to pay bills and read through laws and regulations, something that others my age will learn laterrr on. You don't know that I'm the first to go to college and shit I'll probably be paying off all that I owe. You don't know the hardship I endured as an immigrant, learning english as a second language, and still staying active in school? Shit I have had 2 jobs every summer ever since my sophomore year, and I still work during the school year. Along with that I have clubs after clubs AND I'm senior class president; and I still keep up with my friends. Grade wise? I stay on top of that 3.0. Life doesn't come easy and others probably have to go through harder shit than me but at least I'm proud I earned my own and brought myself to where I am today. SO FUCK OFF

You are the fakest bitch I've ever seen.

I mean, shit; when peoples are labeled as "fake" there are reasons... Like there are certain circumstances... But you? You have no fuckin' excuse. You act like you the shit, but you ain't shit. You follow the flow. You'd hate whoever, like whoever just because of the guy next to you. You'd even hate your closest just cause a new guy comes along and states his opinions. Well you know her, he doesn't. How do you do this to her?

Your opinions about me? Fuck them. Learn how to make your own fuckin' opinions first before I would take your opinions into consideration.

You Still Exists

and I guess at times it's hard to admit that. Why do I have to feel ashamed for once loving someone so hard? It's only human nature, and it proves that my love was real, don't it? I feel like if I say you dont exists, then you don't get brought up, and eventually I'll believe myself and ill have "moved on" already. It works, until you get brought up...

Someone asked me "what is love?" a few days ago.
Damm..
I started off ranting on and on about how "Loving someone is when you can't imagine life without them". Well isn't that cliche?
Love is when you are with someone, and you love them so hard that it becomes scary. It's so scary because you can't imagine life without them, but furthermore you never imagined life like this WITH them. It's so surreal and it's such a scary feeling because you've never experienced something this strong and now you have it you start questioning yourself if you can contain it. You are scared to be in love, at the same time you are scared to be out of love.
You can't live life without them. In your heart you wish that they were even closer, that maybe your bodies will intertwine together even when you are tightly in his hands. You just want to get closer, get under each other's skin and become one... Believe me when I say that I do not mean this sexually.

There was a moment of time where we were so in love. And I thought we were on top of the world.


Why is it that I am ashamed to say you still exists? Peoples judge. well fuck them. But honestly, it only means that I was in love and it meant something to me and that I am not cold hearted.
But don't get the wrong idea. I am pretty much "moved on". You exists as a memory and thats all it is to it. I am happy living my life now, and I am happy you found love somewhere else. I am proud of the both of us. Everything in life happens for a reason, and I already found my reason. I hope you found yours. You'll always have this big place in my heart. Like my second dad said, you'll never forget your first love. You'll always love them in some way. But that doesn't mean we have to be together. It just means I will always care for you and cherish what we had.

Maybe one day we will be friends again, but I am not rushing it.