You Still Exists

and I guess at times it's hard to admit that. Why do I have to feel ashamed for once loving someone so hard? It's only human nature, and it proves that my love was real, don't it? I feel like if I say you dont exists, then you don't get brought up, and eventually I'll believe myself and ill have "moved on" already. It works, until you get brought up...

Someone asked me "what is love?" a few days ago.
Damm..
I started off ranting on and on about how "Loving someone is when you can't imagine life without them". Well isn't that cliche?
Love is when you are with someone, and you love them so hard that it becomes scary. It's so scary because you can't imagine life without them, but furthermore you never imagined life like this WITH them. It's so surreal and it's such a scary feeling because you've never experienced something this strong and now you have it you start questioning yourself if you can contain it. You are scared to be in love, at the same time you are scared to be out of love.
You can't live life without them. In your heart you wish that they were even closer, that maybe your bodies will intertwine together even when you are tightly in his hands. You just want to get closer, get under each other's skin and become one... Believe me when I say that I do not mean this sexually.

There was a moment of time where we were so in love. And I thought we were on top of the world.


Why is it that I am ashamed to say you still exists? Peoples judge. well fuck them. But honestly, it only means that I was in love and it meant something to me and that I am not cold hearted.
But don't get the wrong idea. I am pretty much "moved on". You exists as a memory and thats all it is to it. I am happy living my life now, and I am happy you found love somewhere else. I am proud of the both of us. Everything in life happens for a reason, and I already found my reason. I hope you found yours. You'll always have this big place in my heart. Like my second dad said, you'll never forget your first love. You'll always love them in some way. But that doesn't mean we have to be together. It just means I will always care for you and cherish what we had.

Maybe one day we will be friends again, but I am not rushing it.