I've fucked up so many times already. I've fucked up, and in my road to healing, looked for understanding and acceptance of my ways, and then I would fuck up again. I've done it sooo much that I feel like I can't even go back and ask for understanding anymore.
I'm tired again. I'm stuck in this same cycle where I would do so well, then once something goes wrong, everything goes wrong. Then I have no motivation to get back up. I'm just waiting for the quarter to end like a refresh and restart button.
I've thought so many times about giving myself a break and taking a quarter or two off, or even dropping out completely. However, I understand that these thoughts only come when I'm in my bad place, and you can never truly trust those thoughts because theyre so biased and skewed.

I just want to be home, do nothing for a week but just eat and cuddle up with bub :/ this going back and forth between houses is so exhausting and it takes up so much of my time.

But for our future, we must strive on.