oh what can i say?

i suddenly want you in my arms right now...
I am so bipolar. Blame the caffeine! At first I felt like I wanted to get out and have a great time (: hehe another one of those nights. & then now I am so bipolar and feel so lonely. I want you right here widd mee ;x
cept.
gawdam.
Relationships are too confusing. TOO DAM CONFUSING. I am NOT ready for no relationship, back upp. I aint gonn go and do some useless relationship when I know it aint gonn stay. Its called wasting time & feelings. Whats that for when I know I can't stay tied down.. whats all that for when I keep having doubts? Why put myself in a situation I KNOW for a fact wont go well?
Sigh.
Cept right now I really want you by myside, holding me ;x
I miss you like hell.
thats very bad ;x


I know I have commitment issues, & you know that. But seems like you have the same issue too. Its stoopid how I can get jealous so easily, oh thats another reason why I am NOTTT ready for a relationship. I get jealous too easily! & LOL I go and say to myself "ayo we aint a thing. Whats the point of trying to stay committed to someone who ISNT yours? Don't show him that he got you. Go have fun". & then I see the look on your face.....
-.-' but I remind myself "hah well at least I got the upper hand...", next thing I know, I have that same look when I see you talking widd some other girl.
Wow what we have, so meaningless.
-.-'

I don't know if I WANT you. I don't know if I NEED you. I don't know anything right now. I DONT KNOW.
But whats the point of all this hurt, when theres no gain at all? Why not at least try it out and gain something right..?
ADSFASDFASDFASDF.


fml.
wow so much on "THINKING" about guy sober again.
GEEZUS.