(Late post) Am I Wronged to be Afraid?

Okay. So I don't know how valid my fear is. I mean, it could be the timing of it all, how one event lead to another... But I should not be afraid like this.

A few weeks ago, I defended a random guy on facebook on the UCR hookups page. It was an anonymous post of (I'm guessing) a guy who sees this girl at coffee bean and thinks she's beautiful so he makes a post describing what she was wearing at the time and confesses that he, well, simply thinks shes gorgeous and wants to get to know her. Many of the comments that followed went along the lines of "omg SUCH A CREEP". For me, I got very irritated at how ignorant these commenters were... for them to freak out and make such a commotion over one guy's post about his experience of seeing a beautiful girl, being at the right place at the right now... While they don't seem to freak out, and if anything, they applaud when a guy posts about how "i hit it and she gave bomb head, and I don't even kno her name" type of shit. Wait wait wait, let me rewind. So our society thinks it's creepy when a guy sees a girl at the right place at the right time and believes she's beautiful and well everything is just wrong with that. While, a guy who fucks around, disrespects women, and probably is a walking STD and is proud of it gets the applause and society just seems to take that in as the norm. Hmm... Okay. Alright.

Wtf is wrong with this world? What happened to the chivalry, what happened to guys opening doors, those who believe its a privilege to pay for girls and take them out to nice sit-down dinners? What happened to guys respecting girls and loving them as they love their moms? Where did we go wrong?

I can tell you whats wrong. Society fucked up. Families get broken up and young girls no longer have a role model as to what love is. How is mom supposed to treat dad? How is dad supposed to treat mom? We see so much fucked up shit around the relationships around us that we believe that's the norm, and whenever we get treated any way better we get scared. Then we end up in the whole "Bad guys ain't no good, and good guys ain't no fun" mentality. It's all a joke. It may be true to some extent, but the problem is not that good guys are no fun, the problem is that girls no longer know how to appreciate the good guys. They don't expect love to truly be "loving", they expect to get hurt, to be dominated, to be controlled by their partners. For most girls, that's where they end up because "good guys ain't no fun",,

I am guilty of that mentality. Whenever I have a guy who actually believes in chivalry and opening doors, I get scared and run away because I'm scared of breaking hearts. I feel like I'M the bad ass in the situation and that I would just fuck up, that they can't handle me. LOL Ain't that some shit.


A day or two after my comment on the post, I got a friend request from a guy who didn't have a profile picture or any other recognizable information on his facebook page. This was nothing new. I would get requests from random people here and there, but keep in mind, there's also the whole facebook privacy thing where unless you're a friend of the person, you wouldn't be able to see any content on their page. This leads me to always allow my requests to go through so I could see their full content before I make the decision to keep them as a friend on facebook or not. Usually, mutual friends would be a great deciding factor. In this cace, the guy literally had NOTHING on his page, and without putting much thought into it, I unfriended him and went on with my life. A bit later, I get a msg from the same guy and he confesses to me that he's the one who made the UCR hookups page post and he wanted to thank me for defending him. I told him that I was glad to help, and it wasn't a big deal because I was just speaking my mind. I still didn't think anything was wrong. It was normal and understandable for someone to want to keep their identity hidden in a case like this, especially when it was an anonymous post to begin with. This guy continues with the conversation and tells me that the girl from Coffee Bean turns out to be taken, and being a human being, I gave a line or two of comfort. It went something like: "Awh, don't worry you'll find someone else." I really didn't think he was a creep like every other commenter on the page until he said I was pretty and nice and that he hope the next girl would be someone like me, and then he told me that he wanted to get to know me.

OKAY. STOP. What's wrong with all of this? One. He's on a face ass profile account. Two. I still don't know this guy's name or face. Three. I WAS WARNED BY ALL THE OTHER COMMENTERS.

The rest of the night consists of me trying to push him away and tell him that I was not exactly doing him a favor, I was just stating my mind, and how I don't feel comfortable with getting to know a fake profile page, He, of course, tried to make amends such as sending me a picture to prove his identification, we'll only talk through our ucr emails to prove that he's a student (and there's no danger in that... right?) and that he just wanted to get to know me as a person. The more persistent he got the more scared I was... But to conclude, I made it clear to him that I was not comfortable with the whole thing and we wouldn't be friends, and that was the end of that...
Well THAT, and plus all the while I was changing the privacy setting on everything on my facebook page because I realized how public everything was. For the first time in a long time, I was conscious of what I posted online. I started to delete information that would entail where I lived, who I hung out with, etc. I live on campus, and it was easy to tell which dorm I was in just by the pictures of who I was with and it's background... I never knew how easy it was to stalk myself until I reversed the cycle and tried to find information about myself through what was available through facebook. All the meaningless information that I thought wouldn't make a difference made the biggest difference. A small caption of a group hall photo on my cover page album on facebook can lead you straight to my dormitory hall. It would not have been hard to find me among 50 others... Anyone who had access to that one picture (which, btw, could not be private due to facebook's stupid cover page privacy settings; cover photos are open to the public by default and that could not be changed, unlike your privacy settings for the rest of the photos) had access to finding me in the flesh.

After that night, I never got bothered by him again, at least not that I know of. There were always times when I am walking around campus and I wonder if he's seen me around or if he's right there by me. He knows how I look like through my profile picture, but I am at a disadvantage because I dont know how he looks like; I don't even know his name.