Mr. Lonelyy

At times I feel like I have no one ;x I sometimes think that I treat peoples like ass, cause I dont give them enough attention. But dam I always have this bad habit of mines where I just try to mix all my friends together and end up leaving everyone out -.-''
faaill. && yet i still havn't learned from my mistake.
Oh nooo that didn't happen today, I just feel lonely. Maybe its cause of the pictures I saw. Maybe its cause how two of my close guy friends all gots their own girls now && im here like :O
lol.
no amy I know what you are thinking. "Thats why you need a boyfriend!". No I DONT. lol (: miss independent hereee. Eeeehhh sure. LMFAO! No, I will not allow it. You know that one saying "life is like the piano, you have to learn all the rules before you can break them" well something like that. Yeah I see everything like that ;x. You say im a player, does that even work? How can I break the rules & mess around when I havn't even learned the rules...
Yeah say I am scared, scared of all the shyt I see peoples go through. && Yes I blame him for ruining it ;3 no no he did not break my heart. Its just... First time is everything aint it? LOL im talking about first time relationship.
(ewh & wow I hate to admit that here, I dont what him to find out. wtf. I dont want him to know how much of a big impact he did to my life). && thats hillarious considering nothing happened. see theres the thing; NOTHING HAPPENED. It just made me realize how it sucks to be in a relationship when your heart aint in for it... Well mines wasnt. && now I just dont care anymore. Am I making sense? I keep doubting my feelings...
ORR im just scared to take things seriously. Because well... showing too much affection for anyone is just so scary, aint it? I am talking about all kinds of relationships now. Relationship is such a broad wordd. (Friends, family, just anyone) if you show too much affection toward someone, it can easily show you as a fool. Who knows what kinda game they can be playing.
&& well some peoples, they just run away once they find something serious. They like having the freedom with no strings attached. Oh dont I sound like a genius (: haha where am I tryna get here? Idkay. what a great free-write.